Day 26

Have you ever touched Sukhjot's feet? If not, you really should run to my house right this very minute and come feel her little tiny, fabulous feet. I get dizzy with delight when I touch her feet. I can laugh and laugh just about the smallness of her "big" toe. Now that's entertainment!

I would really really really like to be completely present for every moment and soak up her feet and every other aspect of her as much as possible. But you know what I do? Most of the time I am spinning around on some other planet (not sure what planet I'm on...but you do have to sort of leave Earth for a while when you have a baby) or I am having all kinds of imaginings of possible future events.

Like today: I was sitting in the parking lot of Target while my mom returned some things. I saw a mom and pre-teen daughter. The mom was wearing a funny looking sweat suit and hair from the 80's and I could just imagine the daughter thinking "Ug. I have to go to Target with my MOM. How embarrassing." I got this feeling of dread as I thought "Oh God. That's going to be me and my daughters. I'm going to be the embarrassing mom in the weird sweat suit and they aren't going to want to go to Target with me. It's all just a count down to that."

So that's another thing I'm working on (forever) - just being with the beauty and intensity and simplicity of what is. Just being with those amazing little feet.

My girls