Parade of Cuteness

Satvinder's school had their annual Halloween parade this morning - Lots of little children in costumes, waving to neighboring businesses and wiggling around.

This was an attempt at a group photo. This was as close as we got.


On the playground. There were princesses a plenty!


Satvinder holding hands with her super buddy, Nirangkaar


The parade: this is the front, complete with drummers.


Maria, Satvinder, and Nirangkaar on the tire swing

Common Threads

I am learning so much from the experiences I have in attending births. (Note: I initially had posted here about a birth I attended but have later decided to remove it - as I want to be very careful about talking about the birth's I attend, even in general terms. I feel the comments I had here were too specific and not mine to share so I have removed them.)

So today I look at the themes in my own life that are also so evident in birth: moving beyond fear to surrender to the unknown AND listening to our own inner truths. Life in our culture - and certainly typical birth in our culture - generally does not support either. These are things I am growing in myself the more I am witness to the birthing process.

The other lesson is in acceptance - even of those events we don't like or understand. My Teacher, the Siri Singh Sahib (Yogi Bhajan) always said, "If you can't see God in all; You can't see God at all."

So, there you have it...I suppose when you effectively combine all those ingredients together, you get some kind of "balance" stew. In the meantime, I'm still experimenting with recipes. (sigh.)

It All Comes Back to Bellies

Sometimes I go to a Belly Dance class on Sundays. I love that it is an eclectic mix of people - all ages, body types, and experience levels. Satvinder usually goes with me but rarely participates. Today she jumped in for a solo.

Here is Satvinder taking a spin. Everybody took a turn dancing under the veil. First, Satvinder went with me but then she decided she wanted her own spotlight. She did great!


This is my friend, Selena, who I met at a birth. She shares my fondness for pregnancy and birth - she's a doula too. And a belly dancer - much more experienced than my minimal dabbling.

Actually it is a Tiara

Here's today. Camera was in hand.


This is at a very charming Farmer's Market near us that happens on Saturdays. Here is Satvinder, who elected to wear her tiara and earrings for much of the day. She corrected many people who noticed her "princess crown" or "princess hat". "Actually...it is a tiara."


Beloved Buddy, Nirangkaar, stopped by for a bit.


Then we hit the pumpkin patch.


Showing off the raibow face painting

Flagstaff Visit

Satvinder and Mangala Sadhu Sangeet had a nice visit to Flagstaff and, luckily, they took some pictures.


Enjoying dessert - Gurdarshan (Satvinder's Nonni) makes the most delicious treats. Pictured here: Satvinder, Mangala Sadhu Sangeet, and Haring (Satvinder's Dadaji). And jack-o-lanterns that they carved while visiting.


They went for a hike to see the Fall colors of the Aspens...


and made friends along the way.

I can't NOT share

I went to a birth today. Am I going to blog about birth every time I attend one? I don't know - maybe. It just seems like too big a thing to keep to myself.

In those hours after attending a birth, I am in such an interesting zone. Kind of stunned and feeling like I could cry.

This has been the first weekend I have been alone since I had Satvinder - almost 4 years ago. Mangala Sadhu Sangeet and Satvinder went to Flagstaff. Since I was on call for a birth, I stayed in Phoenix. I had a very luxurious day yesterday - reading and relaxing. It is so rare for me to have a day where I don't have to "do" anything so it was nice.

Today, I watched a beautiful, strong momma birth her son into the world. Each experience of birth grows me...not only as a doula, but as a human being. It takes a while to settle into the hugeness of it all.

Oktoberfest

I remember Oktoberfest from experiencing it in Germany as a small child. My memories mostly are that it involved beer, lederhosen, and the chicken dance. While you won't see much of lederhosen or chicken dancing at the Tempe, Arizona Oktoberfest, it was a fun outing with the kids.


Satvinder and Logan




What do you do when loud jets fly overhead? Hold your ears and scream, of course!


Mangala Sadhu Sangeet and Russell took the Gladiator challenge.


Sharing the mp3 player - because that's what kids do now.

Dog, Santa, Elton John?

Friday night:

Elia, Kirn, & Satvinder - dressing up

Actual Conversation from Tonight

Satvinder: "I want to write a letter to God."

Me (Mataji): "ok"

Satvinder: "Can you write:

Dear God,

Mataji is being mean.

From, Satvinder"

Everything is Pink

I've been rather wordy in recent posts, so here's some pictures to balance it out.


In Phoenix, you mostly see umbrellas used as shade from the sun. So getting to use an umbrella in rain is a special occasion. Satvinder brought out the pink umbrella for actual rain today.


Here you can see that Satvinder has come to appreciate the previously loathed bike helmet. She even wears it sometimes when not on the bike - like when dressing up as a princess fairy, for example.

Processing the Weekend

This past weekend was intense. It was the last weekend of our Level 2: Conscious Communication course but I actually missed the last day of that because I attended a birth. Saturday was a full day of meditation, yoga, and facing the "Shadow Self" (the topic for that day) but instead of going home and crashing (which is what one typically does after all that), I went straight into attending a labor/birth for the next 24 hours.

I was part of a doula team that was there to support the mother through the labor and birth process. I had originally told the main doula that I could not attend if the birth was that weekend - because I was scheduled to be in the Level 2 course and had responsibilities there. However, when she called, I couldn't say no. I felt like I had to go.

Childbirth is quite a journey. It is huge - beyond words that I can find right now. It is interesting that even when you've been through it yourself and have seen people have babies, the memory of it somehow fades. And then when you are in the midst of it, it is so much more than can even be comprehended.

I learned a lot from the experience of this weekend and of course, the strength and power of women continues to awe me. But even having had a good night's sleep and feeling cozy being back with Satvinder (this was our longest separation ever!), I am still feeling really raw and a bit stunned.

How do you process the witnessing of birth?