Solstice Pics

A sampling of Summer Solstice pictures...

Happy Camper

There was a really awesome face painter decorating the children.

Guru Karam, Christina, Mehtab, Liz - always lots of laughter with the Austinites

Me, Sirgun, & Guru Karam

Satvinder performing on stage with her children's camp group. She was very excited about it and announced to people later, "That was me singing!"

Group Photo of Arizona community

We're Back

We have returned from Summer Solstice and are back in Phoenix. As you can see from the picture below of my garden, things are dying. That seems to be a theme in my life these days - the ending, the dried up, crusty phase in the cycle of transformation and change. Summer Solstice was a rather intense experience - as a newly single mother, as a woman in spiritual community, as a person who is hitting the dark underbelly emotions of divorce. Yet, I feel it has a purpose and I trust that it was needed.

In respect for all who have gone through the process of divorce, I feel it is only fair to (again) express that this is insanely difficult. And it is a great challenge to be working with surrender and acceptance in the midst of it.

One of the funniest things (to me) that happened while I was in New Mexico was when someone that I hadn't seen in long time said, "You look great! Whatever you are doing, keep doing it!" That gave me so many chuckles. I think it is a hilarious and appropriately timed reminder that eventhough this all feels so painful to me, it is perfect and moving me in the direction I need to go (wherever the heck that is!)

Later, I'll post some "happy" pictures of Summer Solstice - showing the smiles. Because there were plenty of smiles too. The lotus blooms in the muddy waters.

Yoga Phoenix blog

I am excited that we have started a Yoga Phoenix blog. I'm writing on that one too. Check it out and feel free to leave comments. Especially comments about how great yoga is and that everyone should come to our classes! haha. :0)

http://yogaphoenixaz.blogspot.com/

Best Coloring Books

Satvinder and I recently received the most delightful coloring books from her Dadaji and Nonni and some of her "Aunties" from New Mexico. They are beautiful and sweet and full of positive message. I love the hippie spirit that comes through them. The artist is named Tracy Dove and she is a Phoenix local.

With me needing lots of rest and the two of us needing calm time together - we've been coloring a lot. It has been so soothing in the midst of all the changes.

Here is info on the coloring books, from the artist's blog:
http://tracydove.blogspot.com/

Here is an example of her art style:


In addition to the images and words, I really like that the pages are thick (no bleeding through) and they are spiral bound so the pages lay flat. I've never gotten excited about coloring books before. But I am pretty darn excited about these!

Agents of Change

Did you know that there is a type of parasite that transforms its host (an ant) in such a way that the host begins to resemble a berry (it juices up & turns red!) This benefits the parasite because then a bird will eat the ant, thinking it is a berry, and then the parasite within the ant gets to host on someone bigger. Who knew that parasites were such agents of transformation!

I learned this recently as I was researching parasites...since I have my own agents of change currently using me a host. (So many gifts from India!) They have been relentless with me. I think I lost 10 pounds over the last week and a half with them reappearing. Things are starting to get back under control, thankfully.

While the experience has been quite challenging - especially with so much else going on in life - I'm sure it has its purpose...like everything. I find it interesting that these critters have been such an influential part of this transformative time in my life. They aren't making me juice up and turn red like a berry - thank goodness - but they definitely have demanded that I slow wayyyyyy down and eat wayyyyy less, for the time being. They absolutely require that I make continual efforts to restore balance and accept help towards that restoration.

I have to say...those are all ultimately healthy things that they have led me to. (And now, with gratitude, I enthusiastically encourage them to leave me and meet their maker.)

Wise Women

Wow. The last week has been intense. And now I am gratefully pulling out of the depths of this round...of whatever this has been. The universe saw fit to make me into a real mess - physically, mentally, emotionally. (Which my ego really didn't like so much since I like to present a good face.) I am so hugely thankful for the wise women who have shown up in my life at just the right moments and given just the right help - sometimes subtle, sometimes tangible - but always so much felt and appreciated. Women are amazing.

Including this little flower bud...she really is the princess that spreads truth. And light. And love.

Here she is drinking some coconut water and standing by the picture of her second cousin, Denali. She was so thrilled to get this picture of Denali feeding ducks that she taped it to our living room wall for everyone to see.

Windy Today

With wind
blowing change
moving everything
around

Nothing stays
with me
not food
not water
not who I think I am

With wind
scratching, scraping
breaking this house
down

Nothing stays
because nothing is mine
not you
not me
not even this moment's reality
that
I am the wind

Kids like Ice Cream

Yesterday we got together with friends and celebrated Satvinder's 4 and a half birthday. We ate pizza and got ice cream and sang "Hap Bir Da t yo" (half of all the words to Happy Birthday Day.)

Thanks to our friend, Narsingh, for inspiring the half birthday event!

The Heart - it's all good

The Heart
Breaking
Opening
Is there a difference?

Over the Weekend: Birthday party

We went to Flagstaff over the weekend to celebrate the 60th birthday of Satvinder's Dadaji. There was a great party with lots of nice people, yummy food, chanting, music..it was a very sweet celebration.
Satvinder and her Dadaji

The chanting and music was beautiful

Somebody was anxiously awaiting the cake

And here are some pictures that Satvinder took. She was quite the little photographer - and was excited to learn how to frame a shot. She did really well!

The New Experience

I am experiencing something I have not been through before and it is bringing with it, a whole new paradigm for my life. I am going through a divorce and by the grace of God, it is opening my heart.

There is a common image of what divorce looks like and feels like. And for me, I am certainly having a lot of the emotion and pain that fits with that image. However, there is something so hugely expansive that is evolving too. I am seeing the blessing of these events...the gifts of what is before me. It may appear undesirable, but I am opening my eyes and seeing what a treasured, perfect, love-filled gift is offered.

Sometimes people say, "Well, it was an arranged marriage. What did you expect would happen?" as if it would be a recipe for perceived "success" if we had met in a bar or something more Western! I actually delight in this question because I now see that I have received exactly what I hoped to get. I wanted a marriage that would grow me spiritually and that would bring me closer to God. The process definitely has been different that what I imagined (I am, after all, a girl who grew up on the cheesy romance of 80's movies) but wow - check it OUT - this spiritual growth is what I wanted.

Sometimes when I cling especially hard to the fantasy of what I thought I needed, the pain gets really intense. In fact, there are times that I don't know how I will get through it (and then I just do.) But mostly - there is a peaceful acceptance. And a gratitude...a smiling gratitude, that somehow we came together and something happened. Satvinder happened. And grace happened. I thank Mangala Sadhu Sangeet Singh again and again - sometimes out loud, mostly silently. Thank you for playing this role. Thank you for the pressure and the reflection that makes me grow. Thank you for doing what you do and being who you are - so I am now forced to face myself, my love of life, and learning to see with new eyes. It is perfect and I am so grateful. You are me and I am you. And I, disguised as "you", have given myself such a beautifully divine gift.

This is my process with divorce, a new experience. Whahe Guru.