Where is Everybody?

When I was in India, sometimes it felt so overwhelming and intense to always be surrounded by other people. In the places we went, areas were quite congested - little streets packed with people and vehicles, all crushed together. And certainly, at the Golden Temple during Baisakhi week, there was no such thing as personal space.

Strangely enough, that is one of the things that I keep missing. Walking down our street to the ashram where I work - it just feels so empty. It is a "small" neighborhood street - not a whole lot of traffic - but compared to the streets we experienced in India, it is actually quite spacious. And I'm the only one there. Just me...and all that space.

I expected it to be hard to adjust to being in India. But I am actually finding it harder to adjust to being here after being there. It is clean and pleasant and so much easier here. But there are other things...that are hard to say goodbye to. That, too, is part of the experience, I suppose.

Cuteness Overload

Our friends were "kitten-sitting" so we got to spend some time with these cute little kittens that were abandoned on a playground and adopted by some nice family.

The girls with the kitties

Someone else was fond of the kittens too.

Back to It

Satvinder likes an audience when she does swing tricks

Open house at Satvinder's school: She was showing me some shape tracing work that she enjoys

Crafty!

I got this in an email and it made me smile:

Joy of Joys

I must sing the praises of our friend and acupuncturist, Har Kaur (Sami Rank), who was kind enough to come to our house last night and give me a treatment (and some very foul tasting but effective herbs). It took me from ridiculously ill to stable and ok in a record amount of time. Now I can eat soup! And I may even be able to leave the house today.

Is acupuncture magic? Yes, I am thinking that it most definitely is.

Home

Back at home, I have just completed my night's rest and am ready to start my day. Only problem: it is 12:00 am. Yay, jetlag!

Our homecoming could not have been better. Nirmal and Satvinder gave us a surprise greeting at the airport. There we were, walking through the airport, thinking we needed to call another friend to pick us up, and a beautiful, giggling little girl came running towards us. The joy of seeing that sweet face! We couldn't stop hugging her.

Satvinder even was toting "Welcome Home" cards that she had picked out and written for us. I never did look at Mangala Sadhu Sangeet Singh's but mine was a birthday card that had a poodle wearing a wig on it. I completely got the message!

I am ill. It seems that my body has given up and accepted occupation. White flag waving, hands in the air - this fortress has been taken. Soooo...once the rest of the city realizes that the day has begun, remedies will be a high priority.

It is good to be back.

Until Next Time

It seems like we are leaving India on a good note (so far, anyway!) We had a nice day of sight seeing - hired a driver to take us around to see some stuff. We visited the Red Fort, a Jain temple, a Muslim mosque, some tombs...I am not actually sure what everything was that we saw. But it was fun and the architecture was interesting.

Our driver was a nice fellow - didn't speak much English (enough for us to communicate general ideas) but I did notice he had mastered the use of a few English swear words and used them in his traffic frustrations. Funny that so often those are the first communications we learn in a language. Even I, knowing only a few Punjabi phrases, know the swear words. That happens naturally when you are married to someone who spent his boyhood in India, I suppose!

After riding around Amritsar on the motorcycle with Hardeep Singh (who is a speedy, kind of crazy, but very skilled driver) our drive today seemed really slow. Our pace in general today felt pretty leisurely.

Last night as I was falling asleep, my mind was tossing over all these things I have been processing regarding the different ways people live on the planet. I watch myself have reactions and attempts to define (good, bad, fortunate, not fortunate, etc.) and then observe what it is like to step back and try to see differently. I come to things initially with my perspective, my history, my life. And my assessment of things is based on that reality. So I keep trying to release that and take it all in more neutrally. It sends my minds in loops sometimes.

Once I fell asleep, I found that all night a part from Japji Sahib kept coming to me. Every time I woke up, it was there. It was specific - from a cd by Sat Purkh Kaur. The part is Aisa Naam Niranjan Hoye Je Ko Mann Jane Mann Koye. Her translation (as I remember it), which was also playing in my head: Such is the Naam that makes you pure. When you agree to agree, the mind becomes sure. I even tried changing the track in my head - because there is another track on that cd that I like better (haha) but hour after hour, that same part played. When I woke up, I realized it was a perfect answer for all the questions I was grappling with. It is about surrender, relaxing the mind into trust of God's flow, the flow of the Universe (or however you want to call it.)

I also dreamed all night about reuniting with Satvinder, hugging her, seeing her. I am thankful that moment is coming relatively soon. It is a long journey home but each hour takes us closer to our girl.

As for India...Sometimes I can't wait to leave. But always, I can't wait to come back. Love to all. Sat Naam.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

India is so much of so much. Beauty, history, poverty, suffering, pride, oppression, filth, richness, lovely flavors, smelly garbage...and it is all coming at you, through all senses, all the time. Any country has these things but the undesirable is often more hidden. In India, it is all in your face. No escape - ever.

We took the 5 am train to Delhi today and it gave me a chance to space out and look at the countryside. I saw wheat fields, towns, a variety of animals (my favorite was the camel), and I got more than my fill of seeing people having their morning poop in the grasses near the train tracks.

You'd think I might be getting used to things but I still was shocked when driving to the train station in the early morning hours - seeing how many people sleep along the street. LOTS. On the several occasions that we went to Bharawan Da Dhaba, I noticed a family always at a particular spot on the sidewalk - they were always there, sitting on a blanket. When we drove to the train station, I saw them sleeping there. With their little baby. On the street.

I had a plan for the intensity of the train station. Of course, having a plan here means that India will laugh at you one way or another. Anyways, my plan was regarding the "beggars". I had talked to people in Amritsar about what to do in those situations - and found out that often beggars work for some sort of "beggar pimp" who kind of takes care of them but mostly just gets all the money they acquire. Others use the money for drugs. Or some just don't want to have a job. I'm sure there are some who genuinely cannot work and actually get to use the money given to them - but it sounds like those situations are in the minority. At least that is what I hear. So my plan was to give biscuits. I had them all ready. Something they can eat and the beggar pimp won't get it and it can't be spent on drugs.

And then - surprise - instead of beggars surrounding us this time, there were cheating taxi drivers and luggage carriers. And they all wanted to argue about how much money to charge us (their quotes were 4 times the real rate) and insisted on taking us to a fake travel booking agent that we knew was going to try to scam us. Their scam is to say they are calling your hotel to arrange the taxi and they put you on the phone with the "hotel" who tells you they don't have your reservations. So they kindly offer to take you to another hotel where they get commission and charge you high rates again. So they get you on the taxi and the hotel and extra high charges on the bag carrying. But we knew about this and ended up having to argue a lot with them - these people were persistent and rude. Thanks to having a cell phone we could call our hotel for real and have them send someone honest.

Tomorrow, our last day in India, we plan to go out and do some sight seeing. Then we catch a plane to New Jersey. And then...home to our girl.

I feel like I have learned (and am learning) a lot from this trip. One thing that stands out to me powerfully is that I see that a lot of people live with A LOT less than we do. And in some cases, that is poverty and I wish for more for them. In other cases, they just lead a life that doesn't have all the ridiculous extras that we think we need. I am seeing many people who live comfortably and well - in a much more simple manner. The value in life comes in other ways - besides the material.

Wrapping Up Amritsar

Tomorrow morning we leave Amritsar and head back to Delhi. We had a busy last day, doing all the things we needed to finish and do before leaving. And, of course, some unexpected things came up along the way. Because this is India and that, it seems, is what happens here. We spent some time saying farewell to the Golden Temple this evening. The gold glittered in the water and candles lined the parkarma. It was beautiful.

As I was just about to start this blog entry, a man came into the hotel office, where I use the computer. He asked me to help fold some very ornate ramalas (the decorative clothing of the Siri Guru Granth Sahib - which is the holy book of Sikhs, for lack of a better explaination. It is actually bigger and more than that simple definition.) Then I found out that those will be placed in the Golden Temple tomorrow. It feels like a real blessing that somehow my hands took part in something that will adorn the Siri Guru Granth Sahib in such a holy place.

The Poetry of Satvinder

The email we got from Nirmal today included poetry by Satvinder. I have included my personal favorite here. We are soooooo very ready to see our girl.

I love you
By Satvinder Kaur Khalsa

I speak to my radio
I love love my radio
My parents, my parents are in India
I’m staying with Elia and…
The raggle taggle gypsies OH

I hopes you will come back after awhile
I wish I could have a cheese stick with you
With you and the raggle taggle gypsies OH
I wish you could go to my birthday OH

My parents, my parents are missing
My birthday OH OH OH
They’re coming back the day after my birthday OH
And my home is with the
Raggle taggle gypsies OH

Oh to be mellow,
I come to you my parents
Would you make me a better person?
Fix the world for me OH
So I don’t have to do all this work alone.

I hope my raggle taggle gypsy parents miss me OH
Because they’re not with me OH
And my gypsies OH

I’m singing poems for you OH
I hope you come back to my neighborhood someday OH
I have a hundred ponies and a hundred unicorns
And a fence in my backyard

Run away, my parents OH
Silk and bread and a drink in India
A silk threaded drink.

I hope you sail on this cheese song
And help me drink extremely silk long

Goindwal

Note: I have removed my original post about Goindwal. It was a very difficult experience and I find that having it in words feels limiting and untrue to the depths of what I experienced. Having the opportunity to write about it initially was very helpful - it was more than I could hold within myself - and I got feedback and support that helped me as well.

But now I feel like it is time to let it be personal and see how it settles in me.

Maybe I'll be ready for more public sharing in a few years. (Haha)

Happy Baisakhi & Pics

Today is Baisakhi, which is a big celebration day for Sikhs. Tomorrow we go to Goindwal so I will probably not be able to update the blog for a couple days. We had the opportunity to put up some pictures so I have some here and have added some to previous posts.
Mangala Sadhu Sangeet Singh at one of the entrances to the Golden Temple.

I love to sit and look at the Golden Temple. It just feels so good to be there.

Mangala Sadhu Sangeet Singh on the Parkarma

This was taken at the rooftop restaurant of our hotel, which is just steps away from the Golden Temple gate. The rooftop dining, like everything in Amritsar, is covered in a layer of dirt/dust - but you can't beat the view (the Golden Temple) and the sounds (Gurbani Kirtan from the Golden Temple!) And the food is quite good too.

Pure Desi Ghee

A few months ago I finally made some paranthas that were really good. At least, I thought they were really good. Now we go to Bharawan Da Dhaba and eat paranthas that are quite possibly the best thing I have ever tasted. And it costs us around $2 (US). Our friend, Hardeep Singh, tells us that it is all about the pure Desi ghee (clarified butter). It is in everything and it makes the meal.

It is pretty obvious that I am not from around here so I have decided to embrace my foreign-ness. I'm getting over being shy to take pictures. And I can't pretend to not be excited about things. Before Mangala Sadhu Sangeet and I got engaged, I met our friends Kirpal and Narsingh for the first time. It seemed kind of like an interview to me - more than a meeting (haha). Kirpal asked me if I had ever been to India and I answered that I had - for just two weeks. His response was that such a short visit didn't count! I am getting that more now. Here we are for two weeks and it is such a short time to soak it in. Even though I have been before, it has taken me this long to adjust enough to being able to allow myself to feel it all more.

I find myself observing more the specifics about how things are done. Riding on a motorcycle became of particular interest ever since the other night when we took a ride with Hardeep Singh, who was driving. Mangala Sadhu Sangeet was in the middle and I was on the back - sitting sideways because women do not straddle when a man is in front of them. Granted there were three of us (all grown size), I did not find myself perching effortlessly like the women here seem to do. I had to clutch pretty tightly to Mangala Sadhu Sangeet and the handle behind me - I considered it a victory that I did not fall off as we swerved through the narrow alleys. Seriously, some alleys are so narrow that if I extended my arms out, I could almost touch the sides. Plus there are other people and shops in there. A simple thing - but it was super fun to me.

Mangala Sadhu Sangeet Singh trying out Hardeep's motorcycle and our friend, Hardeep Singh, on the right. Hardeep Singh sells kirpans - so we stopped by this blade sharpening shop to sharpen some blades.

Relief

The lines to enter the Golden Temple have been really long and it wasn't until today that we actually made it inside. Everything got better after that. We walked the Parkarma (marble surrounding the Golden Temple and nectar tank) and spent time inside the Golden Temple. It felt soooooo good.

It is funny - many people have not seen a white Sikh before and want to take our picture. Or take pictures of their whole family with us. Or have us hold their baby and take a picture. Or take a video or us taking pictures(which I did quite a bit today.) At one point, I noticed that one man was following us, taking video of us with his camera phone. As fascinating as India is to me, I guess we are to those that are here.

After being at the Golden Temple, everything relaxed (for me anyway.) One example: when we first got here, crossing the street was hard because there is so much traffic in various forms and the rules are not familiar to me. But now, I just find myself meandering through the street like everyone else, weaving around whoever is there and letting others weave around me. Everybody gives a little and somehow it seems to work out.

Feeling good; feeling happy.

Mangala Sadhu Sangeet Singh enjoying one of the many varied weapons available in Amritsar. We have spent lots of time looking at knives, swords, and other interesting inspirations for warriors.

In a fabric shop, where we have also spent a good amount of time. Fabrics are tightly folded and stored from floor to ceiling, wall to wall. When interest is expressed, the owner and assistants whip out fabrics with flair, showing dozens and dozens of options.

And Now Amritsar...

Yesterday was a rough day. We took the train from Delhi to Amritsar. Along the way, I began to feel quite ill. Maybe it was motion sickness, or a bit of Delhi Belly. Or maybe it was the seemingly endless displays of poverty along the way: lots of garbage heaps and people digging through them, living in structures made of scraps, families housed under tarps right near the train tracks. It went on and on. That is the reality they live in.

When we arrived at the Amritsar train station, there was a swirl of money needs. The man carrying our bags (two suitcases on his head, no less) needed money, the taxi driver, children selling things, begging children, a girl carrying a baby asking for food money, a man so disfigured that I cannot even describe to you...We gave what we had and it wasn't enough for everyone who came, surrounding us, still grabbing at the car as we drove.

Driving away from the train station, I didn't even feel where I was. I was in a stunned daze and focusing on trying not to cry. I was vaguely aware of crowds of people, rickshaws, bikes, cars all traveling tightly through the narrow roads.

Right when we arrived at the hotel, our taxi got into a little fender bender with another car. While the drivers argued it out, we went inside and got a room.

When we finally set foot at the Golden Temple, the daze still had not lifted. Setting eyes on it, I could no longer hold back the tears. As I bowed on the marble, huge sobs overcame me. Cool marble at my forehead, big heaving sobs through my body.

And so began our time in the holy city of Amritsar.

Today has been less intense. Good food, a visit to Miri Piri Academy (the school that a lot of American Sikh kids go - as well as kids from all over the world), visits to tailors to have suits made. And the processing of the poverty continues.

I have felt this questioning of "How can I accept my cozy life when so many endure such poverty?" And then the back and forth mental processing of "What can be done in such a hugely overwhelming amount of poverty and pain?" Where I am at with it right now is looking towards the elevation of consciousness - a collective shift that is probably the only hope. It is inspiration, consciousness, and compassionate living for lots of people, who then go and share that with others who share with others. We all have to keep on waking up. That is all I can imagine that could do anything for any of the the stuff we face on this planet - a collective shift in how we live and exist.

So now I have a renewed and expanded drive for sharing yoga and meditation - as a tool for elevated consciousness. And as something that can be taught and shared. This has always been the goal with the work we do - to share something that helps people. But now I see it globally as well. It doesn't build homes or give food immediately - but it does change the consciousness of people who can do those things and inspire more to live kindly on this planet. It is one way that I know can change how we act, believe, and live...and ultimately how we treat each other.

Settling In

Things are smoother today. The body has adjusted after travel, we actually got some sleep, and had a fun, busy day. We visited two Gurdwaras, Bangla Sahib and Sis Ganj, and shopped around at various markets - involving lots of people, traffic, and a variety of interesting goods sold through crowded alleys.

We were especially taken with the little girls who do gymnastics right outside your car window while you are stopped at a red light, hoping to inspire some tips. They do back handsprings right there on the street, in the middle of traffic. One had a funny hat, with a little string attached to the top - she would dance and swing her head around, making the string circle round and round. And the smiles - so charming! Another little one was probably two years old. It is a different way of life.

I got to talk to Satvinder today and it sounds like she is having lots of fun and adapting well. She is in great hands and I am so thankful. I get delightful emails from our friend, Nirmal, transcribing Satvinder's messages to us.

Tomorrow we take the train to Amritsar.

Greetings from Delhi!

Here we are. It amazes me that we got on a plane and 24 hours later we were in India, which might as well be another planet. As we were flying in last night, both Mangala Sadhu Sangeet and I remarked that it looked just like a US city would - lights, cars, buildings. It didn't look all crazy. But then we landed and set foot outside the airport. And no worries - it hasn't changed that much in 7 years. It is, in fact, still crazy.

Even something simple and common like riding in a car is crazy. If your vehicle is just barely not touching the other vehicle, that is considered keeping a distance. Use of horns is as much a part of driving as using a turn signal in the US. If there is an inch of space anywhere near you, it is understood that someone will squeeze in front of you or around you, making two lanes become three - even if that means driving into the oncoming traffic lane, even if that means squeezing out that family of three on the motorcycle. And all that with the horns plus rickshaws and bikes and pedestrians. And LOTS of all of it.

Walking around, you will be offered rides, tours, textiles, fashions, posters, maps, games....or something like ear cleaning. Because doesn't every one come to Delhi and have their ears cleaned by some guy in the park? NO? But he has notebook with names of past clients from America, from England...where are you from?

And then there is the child with no feet, dragging himself through the shopping bazaar. Saying, "Hello, Hello?" He is dirty and asking for money.

It is so much. SO MUCH. More to come...

The Eve

We are in the swirl of last minute bits and pieces before we depart tomorrow morning. I plan to update this blog while we are traveling. Thanks to all who are helping to make this journey possible for our family - with support, Satvinder love & care, and prayers.

These are days of growth and transformation - I see it everywhere and in so many people that I talk to. Blessings to you, friends and family, as you keep up in your own journey and grow in the ways life takes you.

Prayers will be coming your way from the Golden Temple and the other holy places we visit while in India. You will be with us.

Kundalini Lotus Pose

Air Walkers & Animal Talkers

Air walkers: This is Satvinder with her friend Elia at a neighborhood festival last weekend. It appears that neither of them were actually touching the ground at that moment.(click on the picture to see the big version.)

Animal Talker: Satvinder with some of her animals. They have some lively conversations, mostly involving Satvinder giving them instructions.

Bhujangi Jedi, He is

Here's a video of Mangala Sadhu Sangeet doing Gatka with the light sabers he built.