OH. And then...

sometimes she is just a little lamb. Our friend, Liz, gifted us with this amazing hat.

In other news, Satvinder is sick again. None of us are totally well yet but Satvinder is back to miserable and with a high fever. Whatever this is...man, it is persistent.

Kind of a "funny" note: Months ago I wrote about how every time we try to get pictures done of our family, something happens and we have to cancel. I've been trying to get nice pictures since I was pregnant with Sukhjot. Well, it got so ridiculous that I stopped trying to schedule photo shoots for a while and now, months later I finally decided to give it a try again. Our next attempt was scheduled for tomorrow...which, of course, has now been canceled due to Satvinder's sickness.

Anyhow...sending prayers of health and healing to you, to us, to everyone.

The Phase

Maybe it is something that happens to all one year olds as they encounter the frustration of wanting to do more than their development allows. Or it might be that she is holding a grudge about the whole being sick thing, as if we betrayed her by allowing the mean sickness to take hold of her. Perhaps it is her way of dealing with the transition our family is going through (we're looking into our options for moving, among other things.) Whatever it is...Sukhjot has developed another side. A louder side. A demanding side. A side that wants to be held but absolutely does not want to be held. And nothing you do is right and you will pay.

She is still full of sweetness and darling curls and snuggles and love. And her little, mischief grin will make you smile every time. And she's a joker. And instead of words, she prefers sounds with inflections that are just adorable and charming. Oh, squish. She's just yummy!

But sometimes. Sometimes she is a little bit of a bear! Satvinder drew the following picture of the transformation that takes place: smiling curly haired baby (top left) changes into...

Beware!

Hello, February!

January was a rough month and I'm not sad to see it gone. We started the month with Sukhjot having a 5 day stomach virus and the rest of us in various states of not-quite-well and sleep deprivation. The not-quite-well hopped from person to person in different degrees all month until our grand finale: the flu for every family member. (And for me - functioning with the flu on very little sleep.)

We are crawling out from it now, thank God. One thing that struck me in this experience was how healing kindness can be. We were feeling very alone and overwhelmed and stuck in a kind of dark survival mode, just getting through it all.

Some friends stepped up to bring us food - hearty, lovely foods that fed us well when we really needed it. I think the foods were healing but I also think the kind intent was very healing. Just to know someone cares is a huge boost for healing. It was for me, anyway. I felt better every time kindness came our way.

So I want to remember that. Kindness is not a small thing. In this case, it fed way more than just our bellies.

The recliner came in handy - The baby and I spent a few nights in it, keeping her somewhat upright so she could breathe easier.

Race Day

The girls with signs of support. I'll add this to my already massive collection of "pouting Satvinder" pictures.

"40272 is RAD!"

40272 stopped briefly to say hi and then ran to Tempe.

Must be Marathon Time

For the last week Satvinder has been saying, "I'm practicing my weirdness for when Grandpa comes to visit." Now he is here and we are wondering what she has in store.

Marathon is tomorrow. So we're doing all our usual "marathon visit" kinds of things.

The other day (unrelated to Grandpa's visit but still a cute pic) - we went to the library and the girls picked out some books. Satvinder read this book to the baby.

Day one with Grandpa and the girls. And a puppy. And Satvinder's "flat Ginny" doll (a school project)

I like this picture because they are all (except the puppy) looking at Silly putty that I was holding up to get the baby's attention.

Thoughts

Sometimes it is hard to know what to say. I guess that is why I haven't written much on here lately. Life moves by so quickly that it can be hard to grab any particular piece fast enough to share it.

I feel life in contrasts and maybe that is why contrasts exist - so we can feel and experience variation. Last week was a lot of sickness (Sukhjot had a stomach flu for 5 days/nights and I had a nasty cold - and it was a full five days of little sleep and lots of sick) but then came my birthday and we were finally well. And after that contrast, the simple experience of being well and rested made for a really sweet day.

And now. Yesterday there were the shootings in Tucson. That's something that I keep trying to find words for and just can't. It is heavy and it hurts. Even Satvinder, without hearing a single word of that news, said yesterday, "Today feels sad." It sits with me and all day I am sending prayers to everyone involved. And at the same time I am preparing a placenta for encapsulation that came from a birth that happened early this morning - my hands working with something that supported life. I don't use the word "Holy" in my vocabulary often but when I work with placentas that word plays in my mind over and over, "holy, holy."

Today is both sides all at once. Violent deaths. Peaceful births. Both just make me want to hug my girls tight.

Here's a couple pictures of Sukhjot from a few days ago:

She climbed onto this chair by herself and was so incredibly pleased. Oh man, she was just beside herself.

So happy! And you can see her teeth!

A Moment in Time

11:11 am on 1-1-11. A blurry, one-filled moment.

Happy New Year!