Playing the Fool

Happy April Fool's day.  We don't usually do April Fool's pranks on each other but something got into me today and this morning Satvinder and I did a few silly jokes.  The best one was using a rubber band to hold the spray nozzle of our kitchen sink into the on position.  It got our intended target, Mangala, good but it was even more funny because after setting it up, I promptly forgot and I turned it on myself and got soaked. So I even managed to April fool myself today.

We've got a pirate themed birthday party we'll be going to in a bit so Satvinder is all pirated-up and asking every few minutes if it is time to go yet.

Here's a picture of her in her pirate garb (we just used stuff we already had on hand so it is pretty simple.)

 And here's one of Suky playing in the sun:

All Systems Go

I was reading the April Powerpath Forecast today - I always find their monthly themes and suggestions to be spot on for what I'm experiencing.  It struck me to see the phrase "It is all systems go" for the April 6 Full Moon.  That may not be a very telling phrase out of context but it struck me because the last time I remember seeing that particular wording choice was the Full Moon day on December 1, 2009 - which was the day I went into labor with Sukhjot.  I remember very distinctly the power of those words to me then and so it makes me curious for what it could mean this time.  Who knows.

As for the idea of "going" with something, I am really wanting to get going with the completion of my book.  I've been working on it kind of here and there and am over half way through the third revision, which is a pretty major rewrite.  But I feel this need to get 'er done.  I figured I would go ahead and put it out there because I find that intentions are more powerful when spoken/written/declared in some way.  It is my intention to finish up this 3rd revision by June.

I don't always know what the point of writing is.  And with the book, I really don't know if it will speak to anyone in the way that I mean for it to.  But I guess that is the thing with creation, with birthing - you don't really know what's going to come out of you or how it will interact with the world.  And you really never know who you'll become in the process of creating. 

Beyond Wanting & Fear...

I saw this today and found it very potent. It was shared in the Evolve course I'm doing this year. A quote from Eckhart Tolle:


 "As long as the ego runs your life, most of your thoughts, emotions, and actions arise from desire and fear. In relationships you then either want or fear something from the other person.

What you want from them may be pleasure or material gain, recognition, praise or attention, or a strengthening of your sense of self through comparison and through establishing that you are, have, or know more than they. What you fear is that the opposite may be the case, and they may diminish your sense of self in some way.

When you make the present moment the focal point of your attention-instead of using it as a means to an end-you go beyond the ego and beyond the unconscious compulsion to use people as a means to an end, the end being self-enhancement at the cost of others. When you give your fullest attention to whoever you are interacting with, you take past and future out of the relationship, except for practical matters. When you are fully present with everyone you meet, you relinquish the conceptual identity you made for them-your interpretation of who they are and what they did in the past-and are able to interact without the egoic movements of desire and fear. Attention, which is alert stillness, is the key.

How wonderful to go beyond wanting and fearing in your relationships. Love does not want or fear anything."

Laughter: Then & Now

They started like this:
Then Video

Now they are like this:
Now Video

The methods used to inspire laughter are different now but hey, it's all good.

Succulent Stumblings

One of the reasons I wanted to make the commitment to blog every day for a while is because it, for some reason, takes away the pressure to say something every time.  Often I don't post anything because I want to wait until I have something I know I want to say.  Today I don't have anything I want to say.  But I do have some cute pictures to share.

These are of Suky and Rufus (my in-laws' dog) at The Farm at South Mountain last weekend.

We enjoyed a nice breakfast there, the garden, the lawn - and then stumbled upon the succulent greenhouse, where there were curious, strange, beautiful plants that I never knew existed.  It was like a Dr. Seuss world in there. It is amazing how healing it can be simply to soak up a beautiful place.  

Every Day

I have decided that I am going to start posting every day for a while. I am wanting to find ways to connect and share with others.  This is one small way of doing that.

For now, I want to share something that has been meaningful to me and helpful in my intention to open my heart. It is from Pema Chodron, a teacher I appreciate very much. This is from her book Comfortable with Uncertainty.

On The Spot Equanimity
"An on-the-spot equanimity practice is to walk down the street with the intention of staying as awake as possible to whomever we meet. This is training in being emotionally honest with ourselves and becoming more available to others. As we pass people we simply notice whether we open up or shut down. We notice if we feel attraction, aversion, or indifference, without adding anything extra like self-judgment. We might feel compassion toward someone who looks depressed, or cheered up by someone who's smiling to himself. We might feel fear and aversion for another person without even knowing why. Noticing where we open up and where we shut down-without praise or blame-is the basis of our practice. Practicing this way for even one block of a city street can be an eye-opener.


We can take the practice even further by using what comes up as the basis for empathy and understanding. Our own closed feelings like fear or revulsion thus become an opportunity to remember that others also get caught this way. Our open states like friendliness and delight can connect us very personally with the people that we pass on the streets. Either way, we are stretching our hearts."


This practice is profound and I think it is really important now, as we have had recent events that ask us all to question our judgments and assumptions that come up when we encounter each other.  This message is exploding in our faces right now.  The two stories that have been in my awareness most have been the deaths Trayvon Martin and Shaima Alawadi - both who were killed because of assumptions based on how they looked.  A tragic and painful as these and other similar stories are, I am grateful to see one positive thing that seems to be emerging: increased awareness and discussion around prejudice and judgment.  I see more and more people talking about it and the subtle, sneaky ways that it shows up.  And it has pushed me, too, to explore it more within myself - the pleasant and the not pleasant ways that I relate to others.

I want to do better.  I intend to do better.  And for me, the first step is watching what is and becoming more aware.

Human

This picture is just because it is them.  Satvinder full of stripes.  Sukjot in motion.  They make me feel so much.  They make me want to be brave enough to open my heart and feel things all the way.

This concept of opening the heart and feeling all things  keeps popping up lately - the idea of opening to the desired and the unwanted, the beautiful and the repulsive, the happy and the sad.  I keep seeing it in books that I read, articles, newsletters, videos, conversations.  It is everywhere and not surprisingly, it is something I am really working on lately.  This idea is that by opening to it all, by welcoming it all and feeling it - really deeply feeling it -  we become more present and awake in all of life.  We feel joy because we have known sorrow.  We appreciate health because we have experienced sickness.  We cherish each moment because we know one day we will die.  And then in the really big hearted acceptance of it all, we cease to define any of it as good or bad but simply know it as human experience, the moment, what is.

So I'm working on this.  When things freak me out, when horrifying stories of human suffering make me want to shut down my heart so that I can avoid the pain of feeling it.  When fear grips me or when anger separates me from others.  I am working on opening to it.  Not resisting it or hiding from it or looking the other way - instead I am trying to make myself look at it, soak it up, feel it as it is.  And in the midst of it, open my heart.

Not easy.  I fail daily more times than I can count.  Some days feel like a continuous string of failing at it.  And I'm probably closed more often than I am open at this point. But I'm trying.  I want to feel love and life from a really awake place and I believe, at this time, that the only way I can do that is if I open to it all.

A Ted Talk I watched recently spoke of this and has stayed with me.  Eve Ensler: Suddenly, My Body is a poetic and emotional sharing of becoming present through feeling deeply the experience of humanity, the earth, and life.

It is a interesting thing we've done here.  This...being human.