Prayer

My most recent post for Yogamint.com  is about the power of a mother's prayer for her children.  See the post here:  Bless the Children.  For me, prayer is interwoven in so many things throughout my day.  It is silent, it is spoken, emoted, sung, felt...it is an ongoing communication.  Somehow I've gotten to a point in my life where it doesn't even matter all that much that I don't know who or what I'm communicating with.  That aspect used to really trip me out, of course - sometimes it still does - but mostly I just go with it.  Prayer makes me feel like I'm not alone and I do feel heard.  I feel like the message is received, no matter what form it is made in.  And I feel like there are answers given too - there is response.  Sometimes it is immediate - suddenly knowing what to do when moments before I was clueless.   Sometimes it is a slower unfolding and not at all how I would have planned - but the resolution does come in its own way.  So I don't know how it works but it is my experience and belief that it does.

Right now meditation ties in a lot with prayer for me - mostly because I am leaning towards more devotional meditations.  One that I've been doing since the end of September is simply sitting and chanting the shabd (devotional song/hymn) Dhan Dhan Ram Das Gur for 31 minutes.  I started it when things were pretty much falling apart in my life and I had no where else to go.  This shabd is perfect for those times when all you can do is ask for a miracle.  I sing it from my heart and when I was in the thick of life's intensity, I poured so much emotion into it.  Sometimes I sobbed the whole way through.  But it brought me peace when I needed it desperately and I have experienced some things that I can only describe as "miraculous."  So every day I sit and do it.  It has been like a life raft to me.

Today I started a shorter practice (also, coincidentally, associated with Yogamint.com!) - joining in with others who are doing a meditation collectively for 11 days. It is only 11 minutes - that's easy to add in!  I mention it in case anyone wants to join in - meditation and intention just gets stronger when more people add to the mix.  Here is information: Meditation for Wealth and Intuitive Opportunity.

Light

Yesterday I was going through old files and saw/realized that the date of my very first yoga class (which forever changed my life) was on 11/18/96, exactly 7 years before the birth of my first child on 11/18/03 (which forever changed my life.) That seems so amazing and beautiful to me.


Speaking of Satvinder's birthday, here is a picture from her class celebration.  I didn't get very good pictures but I like that this ones shows their black board.  I really appreciate that at her school, art is everywhere.  Satvinder's expression lets us all know how awesome it is to have your mother come to your class room and take pictures of you on your birthday

Satvinder handed out snacks and the children took turns "performing" for her - doing a song or dance or playing the piano (they have a piano in their classroom!)  Sukhjot enjoyed the celebration too - watching the children and activity - and helped herself to an empty desk.

We lit lanterns that night - I had made a few paper lanterns and Satvinder made the felted glass jar lantern at school. (The school's lantern walk was that night so the students all made lanterns.) 

The lanterns are a pretty fun little project.  Here are some instructions:
Star Lanterns
Balloon Lanterns

I Heart Placentas

The first time I saw a placenta, I can honestly say I did not find it appealing to think of women consuming them after birth.  I felt a mixture of shock and wonder at the raw, bloody thing sitting before me.  I was pregnant with Satvinder and my midwife was showing us a placenta a former client had offered for teaching purposes.  I found it worthy of respect, for sure, but I had no plans to consume, in any way, shape, or form, the one that would soon be coming out of my own body.  It did not even enter my mind as a possibility.

A few days after Satvinder's birth, I planted her placenta.  I was surprised with the amount of emotion that came forth in me in doing so.  It felt like saying goodbye to a friend.  My heart hurt.  I didn't know why but I didn't want to let it go.  I put it in the dirt, covered it up and sprinkled rose petals over the earth where it lay.

In the years to come, birth (as a concept, an experience, a journey - not just for myself, but for all humanity) took hold of me in a new way.  I was consumed with the desire to learn about it and to take steps towards it, to move beyond my own fear and face the vastness of it.  To witness.  To be present with it however I could. All things birth related became holy.

When my friend and doula client, Leita, asked me to prepare her placenta for encapsulation after her birth, I was excited by the opportunity.  I was also intimidated.  I didn't want to mess it up.  But she was very trusting and accepting of my learning, my newness with it all.  I expected it to be interesting - to touch and feel and see this amazing organ up close.  What I didn't expect was that it would feel like a relationship, a communication, that would touch me so deeply.  When I held it, I could not help but pour forth with gratitude for what this placenta had done to sustain a new life.  My body tingled with appreciation and awe:  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  It was beautiful.  I prepared it - washing, steaming, dehydrating.  And then it was ground and made into pills that supported my friend postpartum.

I understand this now, as an experience.  The placenta is to be honored.  It is, indeed, a treasured friend to the mother and the baby in pregnancy.  And after birth, it can be taken back to the mother, through various forms of ingestion, to further support.  With consumption of the placenta, women report more emotional balance (less postpartum blues), less bleeding, enhanced milk supply, and improved energy.  When Sukhjot was born, I encapsulated her placenta and experienced it for myself. I definitely felt that my postpartum phase was smoothed and helped by it.

I still offer placenta encapsulation as a service and every time it feels like an honor.  Ingesting it in pill form is very easy - it looks no different than any other capsule one might take.  I learned first from my acupuncturist friend, Sami Rank, who taught me the Traditional Chinese Medicine approach.  And when the Placenta Liberation Front was formed here in Phoenix, I attended their class and enjoyed it very much.  The other day, the Placenta Liberation Front training was featured on a news piece about placenta encapsulation.  I am glad to see the information made available to a wider audience.  Women should know their options.

Seeing the news piece made me want to write about it.  I am grateful to all who I have learned from in this process and all who I continue to learn from.  I am grateful for the many wonders of this life.

Blur

Eight years ago at around this time, I was 2 days into the most intense and mind blowing experience I had ever had. I was in labor with Satvinder, who will turn 8 years old at 5:05 am tomorrow.

Last night she told me that she has been working on a novel, yet to be named. So far it is about a girl named Sesli who was left at the doorstep of a castle as a baby and raised by the king and queen. She came with a note that instructed them to set her free when she was 7. The story currently is heading into when she is 7 and, I suppose, is about to be set free...

Satvinder continues to surprise me with her brilliant mind, her wisdom beyond her years, her emotional depth, her intensity. I had no idea when I was laboring eight years ago that the intensity was actually just beginning.

And in two weeks, our little Sukhjot will turn 2 years old. She brings the intensity too - a powerful blend of mischievous imp and peaceful healer. Words (in English!) are pouring out of her these days. The most common: I like you! Hug you! Thank you! No! Dog!

I wonder if this weird video was inspired by a toddler (or maybe it was just exclusively inspired by drug use.) There is a lot of excited repetition when we see something Sukhjot loves (animals are a big love): dog dog dog dog dog cat dog dog bird! DOG!

Time is moving faster than I can even keep up with. My babies aren't babies anymore. They are ever changing and all I can do is breathe them in, feeling so fully grateful that they exist.

Halloween

Holding hands while Satvinder gets used to her roller blades (her birthday present)

Message

This morning Sukhjot toddled over to me holding a note and the marker used to write it.

This is what it said:

(Note, message, and instructions to deliver to Mama were courtesy of her big sister.)

Celebration Soup

Tonight I made a soup that was both healthy and happily eaten by my family. That's a major accomplishment in this house so I figured I would share the recipe:

Healthy Soup that My Family Will Eat (aka: Celebration Soup)

32 oz. vegetable broth
14 oz. can of coconut milk
1 T curry powder
1/2 t cinnamon
Salt & pepper to taste
1 c. chopped tomatoes
1 lime, juiced
1 head of broccoli, chopped
2 stalks of celery, finely chopped
6 cloves of garlic, pressed
3/4 c. quinoa, rinsed and drained

Put it all in a pot and cook it until vegetables are tender and quinoa is done.

I think it would also be yummy to add cilantro - I didn't because the others don't care for it. But it sounds like a nice addition to me! And if you like spice, I bet some Sri Racha added in would be good.

Hello 11-11-11

Today is 11-11-11, the beginning of the Age of Aquarius. It is a time that our teacher, Yogi Bhajan, talked a lot about, a time of collective change in how we, as a planet, experience life and relate to each other. It will be a process over many years and various traditions describe it - the key element among them all is the expectation of big change. This is the beginning.

I had a dream about it this morning. In the dream I was at Occupy Phoenix. (I've never gone down there in waking life but I have been following the Occupy movement and am inspired and intrigued by it.) A little boy was handing out peace offerings/gifts - little baggies of sesame stick snacks that had a coating of sweetness. The boy handed me a snack bag and I stopped and talked to him for a while. Then I began to meander through the Occupy crowd - various group causes were around holding signs, people chanted, others spoke passionately, there was lots going on. I began to snack on the sesame sticks and they were yummy, addictive - I almost couldn't stop myself from just gobbling them all up.

Then I found my group. My friend said, "What have you got there?" and pointed to the snacks. And suddenly it occurred to me that the sweetness I held in my hand was for sharing. It wasn't just for me. I laughed and jokingly said, "Ok - I won't be like the 1% - I will share with you."

I awoke from my dream, laughing. It spoke to the underlying message that I appreciate in the Occupy movement and in what I hear and see all over in countless ways (beyond Occupy) - a change in consciousness is needed for all of us. Underneath it all, it is not just about money or the 1% or the people against the corporations. Yes, that is where imbalance and injustice is very obvious and yes, things have to change in those areas. But really it is about us all.

We all have a part to play - with our choices and actions and how we care for each other. As a culture and as a species we have to care more. We have to look beyond our own needs and wants. We have to share the sweetness because we realize (in a deep, permeating, beyond-just-theory sort of way) that other people matter as much as we do.

I look forward to that unfolding more and more.

P.S. For an inside account of Occupy Wall Street, from a yogic perspective please check out my friend, Ek Ong Kar's blog post Flash Town: A Day at Occupy Wall Street. Beyond the sound bites from mainstream media, this provides a personal experience and insight.

P.P.S. Sorry for my 5 month long blog absence.