Water

The element of water is busting forth, undeniably, in life this weekend. In addition to at least 3 separate dreams last night about trying to outrun tsunami waves (it was an exhausting night for me!), our house is explosive with water related issues:
Friday - shower head broke and started spewing water
Saturday - washing machine broke and flooded our laundry room with water
Sunday - kitchen faucet sprung holes, spewing water, and then literally broke in half

Water represents transformation, change, emotion, and the energy of creativity. And right now, it seems like there is just no containing it around here. I've been wondering what all this water is about.

I keep returning to my attempts at creating order - cleaning and organizing, making lists, outlining my plans, doing my best to cover the bases. And that is natural for a woman who is marching towards baby-having time. But then there are the reminders that birth, motherhood... and ultimately life...cannot be organized, cannot be planned and neatly put in place. And even as I stack my papers and review my calendar for the hundredth time, I know I am heading into the deep unknown. I feel the tsunami coming. It is scary. It is exciting. And I am not in control.

Earlier today, I was typing my notes from a workshop I took that related birth to the story of the decent of Inanna, the queen of heaven and earth, into the underworld. She hears a call to make this journey and answers the longing of her soul. She journeys to the underworld, a place of total unknown, and in the process is stripped of all she is, all she thinks she knows, all that is familiar and comfortable. She emerges, in the end, as a warrior - a new and humbled version of her self. It's a beautiful story and analogy. That kind of journey happens again and again in life - for all of us, in so many ways.

Right now I am feeling the heaviness of the journey ahead. However, I also feel a bit like a river rock that is being smoothed and worn down by the constant motion and pushing of the waves. So I suppose all this water is a gift, creating a flow where I am rigid, washing clean those corners that I have not wanted to look at, and taking me for some kind of mysterious ride.