5:1

One of the many "tools" I received from the Authentic Relationships course was the practice of expressing 5 positive feelings for every one negative emotion (at least the ones I am consciously aware of!) It seems like a simple concept but I am finding it profoundly helpful for shifting my mental state at those times when negatively is upon me. It really takes a lot of effort - but it has noticeable results even if just doing it on a thought level.

Here is what the Authentic Relationships manual says about it:

The keys to success are a habit of positive communication, an ability to identify and respond to meaningful feelings and ideas of your partner, and a capacity to use differences, paradoxes and ambiguity in a creative manner to reach common goals and understanding. The couples that expressed five or more positive feelings (verbal or nonverbal) for every one negative emotion had the best chance of overcoming difficulties and staying together happily. Positive communication that was genuine was the strongest factor for longevity.

Eventhough this is aimed at partners, it is helpful for any relationship.

We humans are quick to complain about each other - a habit that closes the heart. The "simple" decision to remember the positives helps to expand the love, compassion, and gratitude.